alone

[my mother cooking dinner. what is that you ask? braciole]

the thing about having a sick mother is that you realize that sooner rather than later, you're going to be alone in the world, and that's a tough realization. in my head i still feel 16 sometimes. i can't understand how i got to be 35, with parents who are in the autumn of their lives.

i ran into my parents at the grocery store on saturday and it took me a few seconds to realize who they were. all i could see was a frail, thin woman, shuffling her feet, with dark circles under her eyes. and the man looked weary...so weary.

mentally, i've been preparing myself for it. i find myself thinking, all too often, "you're going to be alone someday, so you need to figure this out on your own."

it's really only at times like those that i regret not being married. at least i wouldn't be alone.